Crash Course

Crash Course: The Circle

I woke up to a "Bro, what happened last night" message this morning. As I wiped the sand out of my eyes I thought back to the countless shots and beers that were being thrown back as the music blared and people chatted. Then I remembered the delicious Waffle House that seemed to taste like the forbidden fruit. It doesn't even feel real until you look at your wrists and see the evidence from the night, neon colored bands decorate your arms like handcuffs. Arrested by the development of the night.

I'm here to discuss is how important friendship and bonds are to us. In the grand scheme of things a human is weaker than a Lil Twist freestyle, but yet with the power of other humans we can find a strength that could not be attained on our own. Each group of friends have certain roles that each of us synonymously interchange and interact with like TV channels. We need these roles because without them we lose a piece of the bond that was established.


1. The Leader- This is the position of the either appointed point man. Always quick on his/her toes they can command the group even under the most awkward situations, such as finding a visiting guest's lost Army brother. This person has to have an air of cool and suave about him that make him/her seem larger than life, and truth is he most likely is. He/she has a few talents from each of the other roles that make him even better. This is your Tidus or Sora for those Square Enix fans. Always ready to take his/her troops into weekend battles with brews and bad attitude bouncers. He lives for the excitement and joy of seeing his team/homies reach their goals. The leader is never really one person, this role can be interchanged. The leader also doesn't always necessarily lead the group but does possess qualities of each of the roles.

2. The Brains - The genius fellow who has too much knowledge for his/her own good. He/she usually assists the group by providing the necessary information. A stickler for productivity and efficiency he/she is usually cognisant of the time and accord of the events taking place. If a kickback starts at 12:30 he informs us of who is there, what they have said about it and what time it's appropriate to be fashionably late. The brains is sharp and a well developed person who doesn't take back talk from the other members of the group. Why does he/she need to when he knows everything? Royalty among peasants in their mind.

3. The Asshole - Gotta love this person, he's/she's the one to depend on when shit gets real. The asshole is someone who is ready to jump down another throat for no apparent reason. It doesn't matter if you spilled the beer on tiles, he's/she's going to call out your foul loudly and proudly, much like how it is to say black proudness or reciting Meek Mill lyrics. The asshole is a double edged character however and can place on of the homies in his targets. Thankfully the bonds between them are so strong that the occasional friendly fire is tolerated and move forward laughing at the crazy shit. The asshole is here to remove the shit basically.

4. The Schemer- Man, the subliminal mastermind behind the plot. This guy/girl is like Don Corleone or Tobi from Naruto. He/she knows whats what and how to make something happen. It may be a day or months before his/her actions take place but when they do they are well thought out. The Scheme doesn't have to always be the opposite sex either, it may be getting into a certain event, making an appearance, or even finding the right roommate. The schemer will work tirelessly hidden from the eyes of the public and cover his/her tracks. Only when he/she finds his/her scheme successful will he/she truly be satisfied. A person who lives for the thrill of the chase. The scheme life chose them.


5. The Diva - The dramatics of the group. The man/woman who gives life to the club. This person is essentially the heart in the sex machine known as ,an. Always in the spotlight, he/she lives for the peoples attention in a positive manner. The bundle of joy knows how to make the best out of any situation and any time this person is down the group is 50 shades grayer. Don't let the attention and dramatics fool you for inside the Diva is a person who essentially wants nothing more than to feel alive. It's a grand feeling that they get when others look up to them and constantly mention their names like a twitter feed.

6. The Funnyman- The Jokester who will crack the most ridiculous and hilarious jokes. He/she thrives on the shouts and smiles he/she can generate from his/her peers. Life is one big jazz cafe with an open mic on Wednesdays where the drinks are half off. An soldier with an arsenal of memes, catch phrases, jokes and scenarios that are more bizarre than a black guy at a Macklemore Concert. He's/she's a genius and wordsmith who can manipulate and motivate through the motions of making others laugh. Give him/her a round of applause *inserts hand clap emojis* because he will keep the energy alive.

There is a certain art that this life requires and that is the art of friendship. We need people close to hang out at the bars with and fireman carry us back to our bed when we had too much to drink that night. Gotta love these guys and girls who will bend over backwards like a spineless stripper. How exciting it must be to have found a group of people just as twisted and crazy as you? Do you realize the potential that lies in a friendship, it's more deadly than the attraction between white women and black men. As we grew up we watched shows that depicted the coming together of a bizarre group of individuals who all had strengths and weaknesses and found a way to work together in a cohesive manner. Even though all cartoons now suck, we cannot forget about the values that they taught us back then. Always remember to ask...#WhoIsCrash?

Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family. 

~White Rabbit