Random Movie Review: Maniac

RMR: Maniac

So over the last few weeks I think I may have watched at least 10 different movies. Some random, some notable. I watched "Man of Steel" (Amazing, loved the last 45 minutes especially), "X-Men: First Class" (Michael Fassbender's performance as Magneto!), and Cloud Atlas (Had to buy the book afterwards). These and others were all great movies however there was one that just gripped me from the beginning and had me cringing in Cancun in the end and that was "Maniac". "Maniac" was a movie that was released earlier this year, but I guess America decided not to publicize it for some reason (Maybe the .gif below has some answers).

The movie is a remake of the 1980 movie with the same title; it was directed by Franck Khalfoun. It stars the retired hobbit Elijah Wood and a beautiful actress by the name of Nora Arnzeder. Spoilers ahead as usual but I have to tell you how absolutely crazy this movie was.

First off this is a slasher film, but 90% of the movie is shot in P.O.V. It's like the director attached a Go-Pro camera on Wood's chest during the filming. Slasher movies have been losing their flavor these last few years due to the success of ghost and demonic movies in the box office (Insidious 2 & Paranormal Activity anyone?) So for a director to revamp an old movie, and then add such a bizarre twist was a great idea in my opinion.

The lovely French maiden Anna

Lucie from the online dating site. 

The plot is as follows, Wood plays a mannequin shop owner by the name of Frank. You can already tell this is some creepy stuff by the mannequins. Well Frank has a bit of a mental problem, he's slightly schizophrenic and scarred by his mother's constant whoring during his childhood. So he has a personal grudge against all those with the double X chromosome. Every once in awhile Frank goes hunting. In the subway, at a dance hall, through an online dating website; and every time Frank comes home with a trophy just like any other hunter. 

Except these trophies are the scalps of his female victims. He decorates the heads of his mannequins with them. Life seems to be easy until a beautiful French photographer named Anna (Arnzeder) comes into his shop. He falls under her trance (I would too just from the way she speaks) and decides to help her with her project that just so happens to involve...mannequins. Well half the movie is him trying to appease her and the other half is him appeasing the demons that live in him. The demons always win. 

What I particularly loved about this film was the P.O.V. I mentioned before. The director does a great job of allowing you to get in the mind of a maniac. The visual and sound effects are realistic, when Frank is opening his mouth in the mirror you can hear the pressure just like you would if you did the same. His "migraines" make you reach for your own bottle of Motrin. Other slasher films try and relate to the killer through a main character but how many times is the main character that killer? It's like being behind Jason Vorhees infamous hockey mask. However the single most important factor about the P.O.V. I love is the biological effects (breathing, heartbeat, etc). When Frank is hunting you can hone in on his breath and feel the energy surging through him. During the scene where Anna mentions his mom's name you can hear his heartbeat, and that right there sold me. You aren't just watching the murders, you become a part of them. As if you had either become some paranormal witness or the killer himself.

The Bride of the modern day Frankenstein

What I also liked was Elijah Wood's performance. Now in my honest opinion, Wood hasn't gotten much of the limelight after his performance portraying the Shire born and bred hobbit Frodo. What the public doesn't know is that Wood has been perfecting his craft. He's explored his comedic side by starring in the hit-TV show Wilfred and was in another movie not too long ago, one of my personal favorites called "The Oxford Murders". Well in this movie he makes his first attempt at horror and he effortlessly plays the role. His character Frank soars over Anna's. His boyish nature is visible even during the murder scenes, his constant begging of his female victims to stay quiet is eerie and saddening at the same time. Part of you feels sorry for Frank, and part of you is absolutely disgusted by his actions. Frank's interactions with Anna let you see him as a normal man in love, but when he carries his knife you see the cold and calculating serial killer that stalks the streets. The movie does a great job of tying in the mannequins to the film. They are almost more real than their living breathing counterparts. Well at least that's what Frank thinks. My favorite scene would have to be the first one, you don't even see Frank until the carnage has passed and boy that death scene may be one of the best shot in awhile.

Notorious Frank

This soundtrack was especially powerful. It's as if they revived the old synth machines from the 80's slasher films and remade some tracks. It has that campy feel to it but at some areas it does such a great job of creating the horror atmosphere. The use of songs in this movie is well placed too, the disco hit playing during the art exhibition speaks volumes about the movie and the lonely Frank. I had such a hart time choosing what song to pick but this is by far the scariest. 

Haunted - ROB

My personal take on this movie slightly freaked me out. While watching Frank choose, stalk, kill and scalp his prey you start to wonder how you could do it differently. Maybe you shouldn't drive so close when you follow her down the street, or maybe you should tip the wine glass into the bathtub to alert your prey. It's eerie how the human mind works when it witnesses something from the first person point of view. I also liked how this movie was similar to "Drive". It cut out a great deal of dialogue and let the other areas of the movie tell the story. The subtle noises, the hand motions and the slow buildup of fear and anticipation. The two also do a great job in their death scenes, you can feel the adrenaline and release of power from them after the soul escapes their victim. I think Lucie's death gripped me the most, the way he watches the life escape her, and the ferocity at which he pulls away her scalp. These movies allow the suspense to crawl up your spine without noticing until it's time to deliver the final blow. Overall this movie was great in my opinion, a magnificent and new twist on slasher films. It's quite gory which is why America and the MPAA decided to film it in select locations. I recommend checking this movie out if you're looking for a good horror movie to scare your friends, however it's probably not the best movie to watch on a first date though. You may creep out your partner. 

Fear: 3/5 (More gore & violence than fear)

Soundtrack: 5/5

Plot: 4/5 

Characters: 2/5 (Frank & The Mannequins steal the show)

#FreshCutFridays

Cheers, 

~white rabbit

Finals Grind

Finals Grind: A Moment

It's currently 2:44 in the morning and I am completely off task. Usually I don't write in first person but tonight I'm feeling a little more bold. So I'm in the Kenan-Flagler School Of Business, one of the nation's top Business schools housed here at UNC. Except I'm not a B-student. The closest to understanding business is that time I sold song-a-grams in high school, talent came in and money came out. That's besides the point. I'm 1/3 of the way into finals season, taken two exams with four more on the way. I think I speak for every college student when I say I can't wait to walk out of my final exam. However I find myself writing this post and not studying, so how can I vouch for you to study?

Well here's my secret. When you study...study hard! Turn off every source of distraction and tune into your mental senses. It's time for you to absorb 57 pages about the evolution of primordial crustaceans into living breathing animals, and why it's important to know the facts about the Plessy v. Ferguson for your AFAM exam at 8. You have to commit wholeheartedly to reach that level of focus, but when you do...you're good to go. Grab some headphones if you prefer music, hideaway in the basement of the law school like you used to back sophomore year, study with your best-friends in a conference room for 6 hours like I did. Whatever it takes to get you focused, do it!

But when its time to relax...you need to pump your fucking breaks. For me when it's study break time, I turn on the most ratchet videos and music I can find, sometimes I find myself lurking on the cryptozoology page of wikipedia, watching the next movie that pops up on my letmewatchthis.ch page (this one's a game changer folks), or I start tumblring and taking cool pictures with my new Nikon D3200 like I am tonight. I'm serious a break is not just so you can stop looking at your notes and google docs. See it allows your brain to sit down and enjoy some sweet tea and fried chicken. It gives your mind a rest from the hectic work load it's just endured. Just like how you work a 9-5 so does your brain...on a much faster level. I think mine runs about a good 75 minutes before it starts to crash, once I hit the 75th minute I turn off the gas and hit the E brake to instantly stop. This cycle of 75-35 is how I usually study. Some people do a 50-10 or a 25-5 but I find these lacking in my case.

Study break video

Shingeki no Nachos

In all honestly, I wrote this to keep those studying sane as well as myself. I'm right there with you, got Oral Microbiology on Tuesday, Periodontology and Pathology on Thursday. I feel you, but I also know that we will make it through. Hold strong friends, winter break is coming.

Happy Holiday's from the Hill

Diving Lessons

Diving Lessons: DM'ming 101

Disclaimer What's up folks, I hope each and every one of you had a good weekend. Now that #DHOE is over for all my UNC followers, I must first tell you about the transition of the seasons. Last time I discussed cuffing season, now it is time for the Autumn Harvest phase. All that hard work you did planting various seeds via instagram comments, impromptu swipes into the Lenoir and random interactions on the P2P after hours will finally begin to pay off. As the weather cools, folk aren't gonna want to go out. Chicks will show up to the club with a full body suit and combat boots if they do go, however I'm not trying to get a twerk from G.I. Jane so I'll pass. Instead now you must use your wits in order to solidify the deal that you were originally working on. Maybe it's a casual date out in the autumn colored arboretum, or it could be you inviting them over to watch the last season of Breaking Bad or the new episode of Scandal on Thursdays. Either way, it's time to switch your approach.

One of the greatest recreational activities on this planet is scuba diving. You jump off a boat or pier and begin to explore the ocean waters, full of fish piss and dead things. What could be better? But before you just dive into the unknown you have to prepare. You survey the scene, check the equipment and then finally take lessons in the community pool before you actually go on your journey. If one of these areas is lacking then it can cost you your life or at least a percentage of it. Now to my black friends, I know y'all aren't diving in any ocean anytime soon. Hell, I'd be a miracle to find some of you in a hot tub; seriously when did we become so afraid of water? Just ponder that for a second. Either way instead of diving into the Atlantic ocean, we've found new uncharted territory to investigate, this area is found on twitter, and it's called the Direct Message tab.

Direct Messaging or "DM'ming" in layman's terms is a phenomenon that has swept the nation in a matter of months, sure DM's always existed but for some reason they have become more popular with time like Juicy J. A direct message is a simple 140 tweet that is passed from one person to the next, it's essentially AIM with character restrictions. And yall know how much AIM used to pop, you'd come home after school, watch some Rap City Tha Basement, hop on your computer and start messaging all your friends. Screen names like "nappyfroboy24" and "xxkissmycheeks" would pop up all over your screen. But enough of this nostalgia, today I'm here to teach you folks the proper way to DM. Everybody get's a little excited when they see that there is a message in their inbox (or maybe that's just me), half the time however its people's hacked profiles sending you bullshit ads. Seriously, how the hell does the Internet get ahold of your passwords...oh wait maybe it has something to do with your subscription to the Daily Horoscope shit...Recently DM's have opened up to the entire twitter community, one no longer needs to follow you to be able to send a message. Imagine who will wind up in your inbox now. 

Self-confidence is on it's death bed. What we carry around is a false representation of it. Nobody is really bold enough to speak their opinions in public and those who pride themselves on being real are the ones who don't have a clue who they are but besides that. Our self confidence has now been replaced with Internet confidence, twitter thugs whattup! But this internet confidence is a very real thing that many of us have subconsciously adopted. It's damn near necessary for our social interactions on a world wide scale.

So...what does it take to send the proper DM? 3 simple steps.

Survey The Scene: 

Maybe this is why we don't swim?

You have to scope out the twitter profile. It all starts with their handle and profile picture. Depending on how much skin is shown, how many filters have been used and what position their body is in will determine if this is an appropriate spot to start. Next thing you need to look for is their bio's;  if you see anything that may resemble a significant other then abort your dive. If theres an t-wifey or hubby with an @sign to a person then go ahead and log off. Also please if you see #TEAM(Insert) then enter at your own risk. One #Team is questionable, any more than that and you should probably abort mission as well. With this new twitter it's okay to snoop a bit without being a creeper since it's totally open now, look at the last few tweets, hit the favorites page for a second and even check out some of the tweeted pictures to get the full representation of a person. After you have adequately surveyed the profile page, it's time to move to the next step...

Check The Equipment: 

Now it's time to look at your own page. When you send that first message, that person is definitely going to look at your page just like you did their so it's key to keep that shit tight. Pick your coolest avatar picture and spice up your background. Use something that compliments your style, I highly suggest avoiding using your own face or image in the background unless it's some dope or meaningful image. Clean up your previous tweets (if you want) if you have been publicly scheming on other folk on social media. Either way after you finish checking your profile you should be feeling something like Grandad off the boondocks when he had his new shoes. Make sure the bio is either vague or detailed as fuck, no middle grounds here people. And don't place something whack as your location, like in your girls bed, it kills the game.

Headfirst: 

Pocahontas: The Original Diver

Finally you have arrived, you've got the balls to type your heart/scheme out in 140 characters so what do you do? "what up"....Fuck no. You better sell this shit. You have only 140 characters which equates to about 30-50 words max so you have to come hard. Blast through that door and show em what the deal is. There is no beating around the bush here folks, it's time to pull out that internet confidence we mentioned earlier. Don't place some funny shit like "Slipped and fell into your DM's" Or "Just combined the five elements and captain planet'ed into your inbox..." You look like a damn fool. Be up front and realistic and state your intentions, chances are you'll get rejected depending on what your intentions are but hey at least you tried right? Only about 15-30% of DM dives are successful. Choose wisely.


In closing DM'ming will eventually replace older forms of communication. Our generation is slowly shifting away from personal contact to pixelated connections. It's a shame, sooner or later we're going to find ways to have sex via the Internet (not web cams, like legit sex) and then a whole nother aspect of human life will die. Although I wrote this about DM's I strongly am against them simply because it's creepy in my opinion, unless it's an old friend or you guys are catching up. Once upon a time in my ratchet Southeast Raleigh days I would have easily jumped into the DM's like Mario going down green pipes (because everybody knows in every Super Mario game you mash the down button to see if this pipe will take you somewhere...you do this to every pipe but only one or two will let you in) but now I am just impartial. I'm not one to judge so do you boo, and remember the three steps. Survey, Equip Check & Headfirst. 

until next time friends...

~white rabbit.

So It's 2013...

So It's 2013... : Ten Things We Need To Dead

The year is 2013. We are in the 10th month of the year, which means that the year is winding down. Now within the next two months all my social media timeline is going to be full of people posting New Years Resolutions that will last about as long as Gucci Mane's time out of prison. "I'm going to lose 25 pounds by the end of the year" "I'm going to stop smoking so I can get a job", "I'm going to try and be more expressive and get in touch with my artistic side" and my favorite "I'm going to drink less"...These are just some of the examples of the bullshit that we will see in the coming months. I know you're probably thinking, this guy is an asshole,  regardless of what he says I'm going to be thick in 2014. Yeah...I'm sure you'll get all the way through January and then give up that dream when you realize the truth. What I am doing is being realistic here. Who decided that on the first day of the Lunar  calendar we are supposed to re-vamp our lives around and change what was wrong? No, that should be happening every day.  But anyways as our year comes to a close I must make a list of shit that has got to stop when 2013 ends. And if any of these offend you, kick rocks off my blog.

1. The Juice Battles.

How many times are we going to witness this conversation?
"Bruh I heard you got all the juice..."
"Nah bruh that's a lie, I'm juiceless over here. I actually heard you were the juice demi-god, something like a HercuJuice"
"Nah bruh that's not me man."
Stop this. Only 3-5 years ago when "swag" was the synonym for "juice" everybody prided themselves on having swag, nowadays it's almost a felony to have any. I remember in high-school, being a part of a group called NwS (N*ggas with Swag), just priding ourselves on our people skills. I'm not going to deny that I have some sort of juice, but you people won't let me say that without having some sly remarks. The minute someone claims they have the juice, we brand them cocky or full of it. No no no, these people just have enough confidence to agree with you instead of denying the truth. If you have a hard time understanding this concept then take Kanye West as the perfect example, he claims he's an artist/genius/God and we automatically brand him egocentric and a heretic. No he's just voicing his opinions about himself, don't destroy him because you don't know where you stand. If you got the juice then you got it. If your Holy Grail is overflowing with Honey Boo-Boo Chile's special juice then let it help you win. Now there is a disclaimer to this, fellas and ladies please realize that there is a fine line between juice and thirst. I eluded to this on a previous post, but I'm reiterating it for you newbies. I could write a whole  PhD dissertation on the difference between thirst and juice but honestly it all boils down to how you carry yourself. So next time someone comes at you and says "hey man I heard you got the juice" or "shoutout to the juice goddess" then accept and take your title with pride. In my honest opinion I'd much rather have juice than be dry like your hands in the winter morning. Not having the juice is like having the Old Rod on Pokemon, all you're going to score are level 5 Magikarps.

2. R.U.M.O.R.S

Somewhere along the evolutionary track someone incorporated a gene into our DNA. It was encoded by mRNA and processed by the splicosome and sent to the ribosomes to be translated into an amino acid via a three base codon sequence. This amino acid combined with others and now we have a protein known as sensitivity in our genetic code (Trying to help you freshman with BIO 101. Went to class 7 times and got a B+). Our generation sheds more tears over the smallest shit, "rumors around campus", "being politically correct" and others. Get out of here with that, being politically correct only became cool about 10 years ago. But what I'm targeting is how we are constantly causing drama over unnecessary information, i.e. rumors. Childish Gambino used the line in one of his songs "it only takes a lie to make a dynasty crumble" and we are no different. We spend our college career building up these fantastic and stalwart reputations and the minute a sleeper cell known as a rumor is placed into our formation we go berserk. It's been established that rumors are always going to fly around so long as we have tongues and jealousy exists. But it's up to us to determine how we are going to handle this info. Are we going to freak out and let it consume our daily being? Or will you be mature and realize that the rumor lasts only as long as we carry it on our shoulders.  In the great words of Juaquin Malphurs (Waka Flocka Flame, AKA Every Baby Girl's Youtube Baby Daddy...if it's not Future) "Spreadin rumors round town like I fell down, They cant hold me down they cant stop my shine, They cant block my grind shawty its game time". It's up to the rumoree...(just made that up) to sift through the lies and find the truth, however sometimes uncovering the truth from lies does not alway bring happiness so treat lightly.

Untouchable - Childish Gambino 

3. GTAV Slander

This one's mostly for the non-gamer girls, don't come at GTAV or you'll end up being a single at fifty.

4. Thinking You Are "Special"

I recently read an article that basically destroyed everything our generation grew up on. But it was so true; it described how we go about our lives thinking we are so special or "the one to save the world" "the one to cure cancer" "the one to put an end to the mainstream and radio music". But we're not that person, only one in 100,000,000 or something like that will actually change some aspect about the world. That's not to say we can impact the lives of those around us now. We just need to lower our scales a tad and be proud of the place we currently stand.

The Article can be found here --> Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy

5. The phrase "Turn Up" and all its variations.

Turn-ahhhh

 

6. RT'ing Fake Celebrity Pages/Constantly Tweeting Celebrities

Every time I see this I secretly do this. Out of anger.

You really expect me to believe that Meek Mill would say something like "Real friends are those who tell you when you're wrong?" He can't even tweet in lowercase letters. MEEK MILL HAS PERMANENT CAPS LOCK. Don't be fooled by these generic teenybopper love and life quotes. And don't be a groupie on social media. 

7. Daily Horoscopes.

Dead that shit. How to Remove --> Here.

8. PicStitching The Same Photo Twice.

Yo. Yall gotta definitely cut this one out. Like I look at your instagram and I see the exact same picture twice right next to each other? Da fuck? You look so good you gotta put yourself twice? Or am I supposed to play "What's wrong with this picture" and point out the difference between the two? This applies to both sexes, but like please I really want to know WHY? Why would you do this? 

9. Responding To The Listerv

I'm pretty sure every college student can relate to this. Hey it's excused if it's your first time working with one, but after awhile you have to learn email etiquette. It get's real annoying when someone is blasting the campus email at all hours during the night.  Everybody is sitting at their computer like...

10. "I Don't Have Time"

Now this is the last thing that I will mention in this post. I'm an artsy fellow so I enjoy the things such as reading, writing, expressing myself through words and such like that. One thing that irritates me is whenever I am reading a book and come around someone and they always say "how do you find time to read? I really enjoy reading but I feel like I have no time. I wish I could do what you do." Newsflash folks, it's not that hard. Everybody thinks that there is no time in the day for anything, but in reality there is so much time we just find ample ways to waste it. For a college student time management may be the hardest challenge but once you find your flow then go with it. I'm actually about to be real here for a second so bear with it, no hilarious metaphors or jokes. You need to get a serious grasp of time, it's an ever fleeting concept that is gone when the moment passes. There's twenty four hours in a day, 5-8 of them we are sleep which leaves a great deal left. Cut out classes and studying, we have about 4-6 hours left give or take. Now what you do with those 4-6 hours is strictly up to you but don't complain you feel like you don't have any time when you nap for a few of them and then join the fake study gang. Time is always on your side so long as you know how to properly use it. Being inefficient is my pet peeve. I recommend taking one hour out of your day to do something that you love to do, or want to do. Whether that is watch TV, read a book, shoot pedestrians on GTAV, dive in the the DM's like Michael Phelps then by all means do you. Whatever keeps you sane, keep it close. When you don't do this you start teetering with the brink of insanity.

American Psycho- Great novel/movie starring Batman

Albert Einstein stated that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". If you wake up everyday already depressed or "over" the day before the sun has risen then you need to switch up your approach. Too many people, including myself, have stressed over feeling like days are pointless. The worst part is those who will agree with you when you feel like this. It's not helping the individual when you're comforting them with some added bullshit. If you're a true friend then keep it real, don't BS just to make them feel better. Time is of the essence, so be on the cover.


So after that rant I'm feeling like Trevor after a rampage mission for my GTAV fans. Too much of these ten things are going on in our daily lives and at some point needs to be stopped. We are physically growing every day, it's only right that our lives and actions follow suit. So although this may be my personal top 10 list, I challenge all my readers to make a top 10 list of things that they think need to stop and compare them with your friends. Maybe you're tired of all the pointless memes floating on the Internet, or sick of the "light skins be like" or "dark skins be like" wars? Could it be you're over the cuffing season, people only tweeting song lyrics? Also I must take a moment to  thank each and every one of you who read my posts. Your love and support for my blog, is part of the motivation to keep me writing. So I thank all of you.

~White Rabbit

Welcome to Marvin's Room

 Welcome To Marvin's Room: Drunk Texting 101

Cups of the Rose...Bitches in my ol phone...I should call one and go home...I've been in this club too looooong....

Check out Vibe's "10 Stages of Drake"

With "Nothing Was The Same" freshly blasting around the campus, I find that the feelings scale has been going off the charts. Social media is being overrun by Drake lyrics, "Drake the type of Dude" quotes and "Drake" memes. I'm not here to do a review on Drake's life however there is one thing that I would like to dibble dabble in and that is Drinking & Drakeing. This is a term that was coined by black twitter when "Take Care" dropped and everybody got together only to get their heartbroken and find ways to relate to the music. One track that definitely stuck out was of course..."Marvin's Room". It's a tale about looking for someone to take you in after a night of unsuccessful adventures and drinking. In order to accomplish this task however Drake must text someone in his phone to solidify the plans. This may be the most depressing shit ever, yet each and every one of us has found our way into Marvin's Room at least once, and if you deny it then you obviously pay the rent to this room. How do you get into Marvin's Room you may ask? It begins with a simple text...


The drunk text is the second most important form of communication for college students next to Snap Chat. It can be done by anybody and everybody who has had just one too many drinks. A simple task such as putting in your 4 digit password becomes a fight to the death between your fingers and the touch pad. After 6 shots of tequila and a couple cups of that red PJ you begin to feel the world swerve around you. The room spins and people who average a flat 6 find their way up to the 8 1/2 range on the attractiveness scale.

Fuck that niggaaaa that you love so baaad...I know you think abooout the times we haaad...And since you pick up I know he's not around oohhhhhh...


Time is a key factor in the drunk texting world, depending on when the message is sent will determine what the subject of debate will be.

11-12: Pre-Drunk Moves. 

Between the time of the initial pre-game and halfway through the club/bar most messages sent will consist of "What's the move?" or "I heard Cafe Beyond was gonna be popping tonight (R.I.P. to the Cafe)." These are mostly informal messages and can sometimes be sent in groupchats in order to get a consensus on the nightly shenanigans. These texts are about as exciting as a staring contest between Willow Smith and her alter ego, the sloth meme.

1:30-2: Food/Post-Club/After Party moves.

 So the club is coming somewhat to a close and it's now time to make sure that when the lights come on:
1. You're not caught twerking with some busted broad or dude.
2. You close out your tab, lest you wake up with a hangover AND a hurt wallet.
3. What the hell you're about to get into next.
Nobody wants to end their evening after listening to "What's yo Zodiac sign?" being yelled at least forty times, so you try and set up the next plan of action. At this stage words may start to make less sense and the autocorrect button will come in handy! Seriously AUTOCORRECT SAVES LIVES. However autocorrect may not save you from texting the wrong person the wrong thing. Before sending that "Waffle House flows" text, check to make sure it's addressed to the right homie or else... If you're not interested in food then start working on inviting some people back to the crib and enjoy their drunk. Post-Club moves can either be platonic or a thirst trap contingent upon the lighting, hoes to bros ratio, and amount of alcohol left. The Post-Club move will usually serve as a mini-recap of the night.

2:45-3:30: BOOTYCALL HOURS

Relatively self-explanatory statement. Some notable examples include "Tryna fuck?", "I got my Netflix account, you wanna come watch a movie?", "You comin over or nah?", "Meet me out back behind Rams in 10" "I left my keys at home, mind if I stay over?" "I just wanna cuddle, nothing serious" "I'm too drunk, I'll just crash here." So on and so forth.  All of these messages are SOS signals to the Thirst Patrol, it's time for the magic to be made. Flourish. But just come prepared with a strap because nobody wants to be caught without latex...or get that I' think I'm late text...or however Lil Gremlin Wayne rapped it.

4-7: Venting Sessions.

I'm going to assume that for at least 30 minutes per night there is a complete blank space in your memory bank. That time is usually after a failed attempt at getting some ass for the night. Blue balls will bring you into the next stage which is the venting session. Now here is where artist like Drake, The Weeknd, Johnny Rain,  PartyNextDoor, Tory Lanez, or any lightskin dude from Canada with a broken heart and substance abuse problem come in handy. You start reaching out to anybody in your last 10 conversations and hit em with that "Still up?" text. You start with your #Bae and slide your way down the scale to the #LastResortShawty. You even put emphasis by adding the correct capitalization and punctuation, so you know it's real. Once you find someone who responds with that "Yeah, whats up" that's when the flood gates open. Crank up your stereo and begin to cry about the time your third grade crush made the basket before you did when you were playing knockout at the YMCA, so you blame your lack of hoop dreams on her. These are those times when the person on the receiving end needs to just listen and screenshot these in order to aid the other individual. However don't get too caught up in this zone for too long lest you'll end up dropping "L" bombs all over the place like a WWII German Raid. All hell breaks loose if you're talking to an ol squeeze and you release the Krakken AKA "I miss you..." text. I'm not about to sit here and debate this but hot damn when that happens you might as well turn your phone on airplane mode and go the fuck to sleep. This text has so much blackmailing power. The receiver of this text can essentially become the Edward Snowden to your NSA, and put you on blast.

I was just callin cuz they were just leavin...talk to me please don't have much to believe in...I need you right now are you down to listen to me...too many drinks have been given to me

Recently, I've found myself becoming a local to the spot...sipping a cold glass of E&J XO while writing blog posts. Drunk texting is something we all do, it's a mildly safe practice that should only be used when necessary. The content of this blog also applies to tweets, phone calls, videos, and instagram pictures. Young cats, realize that this world ain't private so posting all of your drunk endeavors on social media will be tragic. Let's be real, we all know that there are plenty of pictures that were taken at an inebriated moment floating around in some Group Me somewhere. #NeverForget. This post was dedicated to your future Drinking & Drakeing endeavors, for cuffing season is still not around thanks to the release of GTAV! Fellas thank Rockstar. Oh yeah and best two tracks on the album, "Too Much" & "Pound Cake" (and not only because Hov was on the track).

"Piano Outro"

~White Rabbit

Random Movie Review: "Shame"

Random Movie Review: “Shame"

-We’re not bad people.
We just come from a bad place.

Today I’m dissecting a movie that did not receive much attention or credit in the U.S. but across the big blue lake (Atlantic Ocean) it became a hit. “Shame" is the title of this 2011 British movie starring our favorite android “David from Prometheus"- Michael Fassbender and the lovely “Ms. Daisy Buchanan"- Carey Mulligan. “Shame" was directed by Steve McQueen. “Shame" won Best Director/Best Screenplay/Best Independent Actor x4/Best Supporting Actress among other nominations and awards.  It is a movie full of intensity, lust and sex, empty feelings and of course, shame. Rated R, NC-17 for nudity (penises included), language, and drug use. 

Fassbender portrays “Brandon" a clean cut, and cultured New York business man with a terrible secret; Brandon is a sex addict. When I use that term I mean it to the fullest degree, just from the opening scene the viewer can tell his desire for sexual release is exponential.It's not how we say "Oh I love sex...I can't get enough", his sexual activity is toxic slowly infecting his life. Regardless Brandon is a firm believer in immediate gratification, not searching for any long term pleasure or commitment.  He is a true addict, until his sister “Sissy" comes to move in for awhile. She’s got plenty of issues on her plate as well, which makes one wonder what their childhood was like. Instead of using sex as her ploy she develops other coping mechanisms that include a human wrist and razors. The overall theme of the movie is the search for feeling…human. Looking back at the title, and how many of the things we do we live with the shame or hide from it. The main characters are detached from the norms of society and yet they live and thrive as any average citizen in the public eye. What amazed me is how even though each of them know that there is something seriously wrong with them, neither of them pretend to want to change it. They Just Accept It.

Fassbender does an amazing job at playing “Brandon", truly a one-of-a-kind performance. What set him apart from conventional actors was the use of his eyes; ranging from cold, merciless and lusty stares to saddened and hollow tears of regret. The eye contact is key. Each sexual act that Brandon is involved in gets seemingly more intense dramatic and gratifying. His character possesses a sociopathic behavior; charming and selfish with a complete disconnect from normal society. From rage-filled  outburst at Sissy to blatant lying in his boss’s face Brandon has no heart. The only aspect of emotion we are shown is his date/rendzeveous with his co-worker. The atmosphere of the movie is gray and mellow to mimic the seriousness and depravity of the characters. The most powerful scene is the opening act, where we find Fassbender scoping the subway car until he locks eyes with an attractive woman. What starts out as playful eye contact eventually turns sour and we realize that Brandon isn't all that sane in the head. His stare (referring to the use of his eyes) transforms into a lustful gaze and even gets to the point where the woman is uncomfortable. What makes it even worse is that he stares at the ring on her finger, (she's married) for a few minutes then continues to stare even after noticing she had a spouse. It was gripping but horrifying, he exemplified how low on the morality scale humanity can truly sit.  The soundtrack is impeccable as well, the main theme “Unraveling" played at the climax of the scene, draws out the hollow and almost sadistic nature of Brandon. Steve McQueen did an excellent job of tying up the movie and showing the character development, or lack thereof, from beginning to end. The conclusion leaves one thinking…did anything really change? Can they put their shame to rest and live normal lives? Or will he continue to hunger for immediate gratification? 

"Unraveling" - Hans Zimmerman

~White Rabbit

We Are All Vaginas

We Are All Vaginas: Lost Art Of Conversation

Mind if I penetrate you?

We all know what a vagina is right? That talk we had in 6th grade about the birds and the bees made absolutely no sense until that day in 8th grade where we found ourselves getting touched by our crush  outside of the school gym. It was a different experience, and damn sure one we were not prepared for. A vagina is the female genitalia, it's the spot where they urinate, a child comes from, and more importantly where a penis finds it's home at. Yes that's right, the vagina is the place where the penis belongs in about 25% of the time. As my title states we are all vagina's that are essentially ready to be penetrated by the mental penises of others. And the only way for us to be erect dicks is to practice the lost art of conversation. Yes, a very much lost art. Conversation is something that we have sacrificed in order to survive and thrive in this 21st century. Please excuse the rash and inappropriate title and metaphor, I swear the post gets way more serious.


This week I have been hit with a flurry of examples as to what conversation is and for your pleasure I'm going to reveal what it is that makes up a real conversation. I feel as though the conversations are something that we have all experienced in at least once in our lives. There are so many different types but at the root of every conversation is penetration (hey that rhymes). It's just like my example, we are constantly being penetrated by others in their grand pursuit of knowledge. It's only human to be curious and as we wander through the twisted tales of others we get lost in translation, sometimes literally. Some of our conversations may consist of being casually tested on what religious background we have, whereas others may consist of how many beers two guys can down together before one passes out. Just think to the different conversations you have stumbled upon this week and realize that although each subject may be very different there are some foundational parts that remain similar in all types of chat:

1. An interesting subject is always necessary (lest you get bored and tune out).
2. How you say shit is sometimes more than shit you say.
3. LISTEN.
I can't stress number three enough for the fact that most of us don't know the difference between hearing someone and listening to them. Just because you can recite what someone said to you doesn't mean you listened. In order to effectively listen you must understand number 1 and 2, and why someone would want to give you this information. Once it's your to hold, then you must take it a part and analyze it. Think of it as an anatomical frog practical that you took back in gross anatomy. It's essentially picking apart the  pieces you want and leaving the rest of the carcass to sit in the cold lockers of our mind. It's more than just the conversation that keeps the cogs of life turning, it's what you take away from the person offering words.


For example: Hey bro! Gotta tell you about last night and how the bartender kept winking at me. She was totally flirting with me and even gave me a free drink. So in return I looked over at her said, If I was a horror movie serial killer I'd wait to kill you at the end.
1. His friend being interested in the bar tender, and using a cheap pick up line.
2. Excited to tell his amigos about the scenario
3. What he wants you to understand is that he stepped outside of his normal zone to try and catch a W for the night...or at least a free drink.

The one of the biggest problems in our generation is the desensitization of our conversational/personal skills. We live in a world where one can get gratification by looking at a black midget four thousand miles away riding a donkey singing the Sri Lankan national anthem on a webcam. Yeah that's really weird I know but you get the idea. No? Okay let's try this instead. We live in a world where one persons text chat screen can be screen captured and sent to a group in order for them to laugh. As much as technology has made our lives easier, it has sucked away from some of the most necessary things we need, I.e. conversation. ( This is like my fifth rant on technology, yet I have a blog). Either way I think we should all realize that there is a world outside of the texts, emojis, and twitter feeds. I eluded to this in my social media rant but our E-language is one of the key reasons why the English language is dying. We're simplifying words that don't need to be shortened. "Alright" went to "iight", "okay" to "kk" and "yes" to "yeah". This literally sounds like some Lil Jon lyrics (his real name is Johnathan Mortimer Smith btw, and he was a valedictorian).  It sucks when words like ferrous and dubious exist which just sound cool as hell to say.  It's trashy and now we also no longer know how to  look people in the eye during conversations, shake their hands with a firm grasp. THESE SKILLS ARE TOO DAMN IMPORTANT. When we enter the real world, social connections and interactions usually happen at a local dive bar. If you don't know the proper Alcohol-to-Articulation skills then you're probably going to get wasted at 3:17 PM while getting lunch with co-workers. Another thing we have to learn is how to casually drink...which is a post coming later on. (duhn, duhn, duuuuhn)

All in all don't be a limp dick and not know how to engage others in conversation. It's okay to be awkward and introverted, however when posed to engage in a conversation, think of it as a duel. The loser gets stabbed in the chest and their dignity stolen.  It's necessary for the survival of the human race essentially. Without proper lingo skills you will never get a job, get a boo-thang, or hell even get anywhere. If you can't talk to people prepare to live in a small one-story house with no stairs, twelve cats who secretly plot your death and the only time someone touches you is when a greeter at the local Wal-Mart shakes your hand. Yeah..it's that serious. I love the term that we are all vaginas because it's such a scientific and slightly disgusting word that we rarely use it. With terms like "pussy" "snatch" "pink taco" and my favorite "cunt" its easy to forget the questionable beauty that is found in saying va-jii-nah! So continue to be a flowing vagina and whenever someone comes prepared to penetrate you with their thoughts, use protection lest you end up full of unnecessary feelings.

The art of conversation

~white rabbit